One room for two kids has changed our family more than I anticipated. We’ve had to downsize for a few months while work is done on our house, making it necessary for my kids to share a space. “It’s going to be like camping!” I said, trying to convince them this would be fun. They fight for tent space while camping, which should have keyed me into what the room sharing experience would hold.
My image of siblings sharing a bedroom was a warm picture of bonding and keeping each other up late talking. It didn’t include clutter, arguments, torture (in the form of hidden stuffed animals or bookmarks removed from books), or negotiating time in the room alone, all of which have defined my kids’ experience sharing a room. While I aimed for The Brady Bunch, I wanted to make sure I didn’t get the Jersey Shore.
While room sharing would have likely been easier if my kids had always shared a room, it’s not too late to learn something from the experience. Here’s what I want them to get out of it: more practice compromising; sharing more than they’ve done in the past; and a closer bond. Another upside is that they’ll be ready for dorm life. No one wants the roommate who takes over a tiny, shared space, and my kids are figuring that out at ages six and nine.
Here’s what experts say to help the process:
1. Make sure each has separate, well defined spots for their own stuff. (Check!)
2. Work out bedtime conflicts. (Trying…)
3. Let them work it out. (Yep.)
They’re (slowly) learning to respect each other’s property under the basic rule that if it’s not yours, then don’t touch it. Plus, I’ve noticed a greater willingness to be together. Yesterday they voluntarily cleaned the bathroom together, which was probably worthy of a milestone note in their baby books. I still can’t believe it.
Room sharing may have been forced on them, and this surely isn’t The Brady Bunch, but their bond has strengthened because of it.
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